Couples and money – conflict or peace?

The conflict of couples and finances have been around for hundreds of years but was escalated during the industrial revolution when families were introduced to a two-income household.

It is only during the last century that women have come into their own right as breadwinners and equal partners when it comes to running a household. Of course, two incomes make things easier financially, but it does bring along with it several challenges.

It is important that couples discuss and plan their finances together to avoid resentment, anxiety, and worry.

Secret stash – Do you have a secret bank account that you don’t tell your partner about? Your partner might be a spender and you keep it secret to have cash flow. This could lead to feelings of resentment and that you don’t trust them. Be open about any savings accounts you might have and discuss the reasons for them.

Financial history – It is important that you discuss your financial history and past with your partner. It will help them understand how you were raised to view money. If you were raised a spender and not a saver then they could help change your mindset or reach compromises. You could have had huge debt from credit cards or loans. They can help you or you them, avoid falling into these traps again. Remember not to judge. Help each other.

Future planning – Planning for your financial future together is vital. The goals of a couple are vastly different than those of a single person. Discuss and plan for retirement and life cover and education plans for children. You need a financial roadmap instead of hoping for the best.

Financial decisions – When one person makes all the financial decisions, it could lead to resentment, hatred, and hurt feelings. Just because one partner is money savvy does not mean they must make all the decisions. Include the spendy partner in decisions and make them feel like they have a say in matters.

Who will pay for what? – It is important to create a budget of who will pay for what, otherwise you might have the case where one partner pays the bulk of the bills and might become resentful over having little money left come month end. Couples should share expenses. Ultimately, expenses are for both anyway and any savings as well.

Your children – One of the biggest mistakes couples can do is show conflicting views on money e.g. dad might be frugal and say no to the kids, but mom says yes to going shopping. Kids need to learn the importance of money and how to use it. As parents, you are their examples and your attitude towards money will be theirs when they are adults, so make sure they are the same. Do not let them make the same mistakes you make when it comes to dealing with money. Break the cycle now and get them into a saving mindset. *

Most importantly, if you cannot come to compromise seek the advice of a financial adviser to get a plan of action in place for you that will be mutually beneficial to both. [email protected]

Please note, the above is for education purposes only and does not constitute advice. You should always contact your deVere adviser for a personal consultation.
* No liability can be accepted for any actions taken or refrained from being taken, as a result of reading the above.